Some times when I wake up in the morning I feel like I lack the energy to do even the simplest things that I do as a part of my morning ritual like opening my window or drinking one litre of water or listening to the BBC radio which I haven’t for weeks now. After reading earlier post about me enjoying life as in cycling with the view of majestic Himalayan peaks and alpine woods and having a loving family, most people might say,’What a wonderful life,’ but any life irrespective of it being a good or a bad one is bound to fill with misery.
I don’t want my readers to think that I am living a life close to perfect which seems to be filled with nothing but joy.
I don’t want to be one of those youths where we think we have plenty of time to do whatever we want such as to love, to take our studies seriously or even some times to take our lives seriously. Because life passes by within a blink of our eyes,I want to keep my blogs updated and make up for all the time that I should have written more that’s why sometimes I write for days and some times twice in a month.
Therefore yesterday I spent an entire day in frustration which these days I seem to have mastered with a milli- second smile on my face every time I come in contact with my mother. I spent hours in front of my computer wanting to write something about the struggles of an ordinary human but each time I did it was very personal or un related.
It is true that 2014 has been a great year for me and like every 19 year old some times I feel like I have known everything about life-like how one should live with a perfect set of principles and what should be done in a moment of crisis. Often we mistakes those that bring us their personal side which usually seems to be filled with trouble and misery of being more vulnerable and weak. And that is the same reason most people refrain from the world knowing how desperate and pathetic their lives are even though the world doesn’t have a clue about it.
When I was ten, I remember my brother asking money from his mum(my maternal aunt) and she would say,’Not everyday is sunday.’ Indeed it isn’t just like there is summer after the lovely and mild spring which everyone seems to be enjoying, sooner or later the extreme heat takes over but again there is HOPE because spring is bound to appear around some time next year.
When we say life is beautiful we don’t understand why it really is, Is it because we achieved greatness, our dreams or because of victory? No, it is because we have felt pain, loss, failure. And for that reason when we are gifted with the former emotions or state of being we felt immense sort of joy which is known to be happiness.
This is not a court room where I will have to list down evidences by giving examples from hard times in my life so lets just say that like you, I have also been through the lowest lows where HOPE is the only thing present with an invisible quality. When old wounds are mentioned it might bring you equal grief yet it fails to penetrate like it did in the present moment. So when I say I have had such moments I know it won’t make much sense but the point being I had and that is what life is composed of.